


The Don’t Sass Ron Rule

by nothfan



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 09:53:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothfan/pseuds/nothfan
Summary: Set in early seasons of Parks and Recreation tv show. Andy gets into trouble with his boss Ron during a colleague review meeting. Paddling of an adult by his boss. Nothing too harsh.





	The Don’t Sass Ron Rule

Author:Nothfan   
Fandon: Parks and Recreation tv show   
Type of Spanking:Work   
Spanking Pairing/main characters: Andy Fwyer/Rom Swanson, April Ludgate   
Impliment:Paddle   
Rating: Paddling of an adult by his boss, none con but not harsh   
Summary:Andy Gets into trouble with his boss Ron during a colleague performance review

Parks and Recreation  


The Don't Sass Ron Rule  


It was that time of year again, colleague performance reviews at City Hall. Ron Swanson, head of Parks and Recreation Department, did not do any unnecessary fraternising with his colleagues. He was the boss; he delegated this task to his deputy Leslie Nope. She lived for this stuff and he was happy to oblige. Unfortunately Ron himself had a new boss, Chris Traeger, and annoyingly the man insisted Ron get more involved with his staff. Grudgingly Ron had agreed to do one of the review meetings and had picked Andy Dwyer.

Andy and April were taking their lunch break at the vending machine on the second floor. This was one of Andy’s favourite working lunches, stuffing his face with candy and soda. He was also nervous about his very first department review and finding out that it wasn’t with Lesley hadn’t helped. At least he could take his mind off things by flirting with April Ludlow. This wasn’t exactly a date but she had agreed to join him at the vending machine.

Ron took his lunch at his desk and shuffled the bunch of papers on his desk, looking for the Dwyer boy’s paperwork. There had been a few complaints lodged by other departments, disruption caused by giving piggyback rides, broken items and equipment, the exploding coffee pot debacle, water balloon fight etc. Ron’s moustache twitched a little as smiled briefly. So Andrew basically gets nothing work related done, and does so with enthusiasm. The perfect co-worker, well done Andrew, good boy.

Back on the second floor lunch time was almost over and Andy still had 30 minutes before his meeting with the boss.  
“Well I got a magazine that needs reading and phone calls to ignore, are you coming?” April asked.  
“I’ve got time for another bag of skittles before my meeting, hope it goes ok, cause I like having a job and not living in a pit,” Andy sighed digging out more quarters for his candy fix.  
April waved as she headed down the corridor back to the first floor,

“take your time, Ron won’t mind if you're late.”  
Andy frowned; he couldn’t always tell when April was serious or just messing with his head. He tipped the whole bag of skittles into his mouth as he slowly followed April, better not be late. It felt a bit like he was going to the principal’s office and he had plenty of experience in that department. Not that he’d really been a bad kid or anything. He hadn’t skipped classes on purpose, wasn’t his fault the dumb class timetable was so confusing. Or sometimes he’d followed a line of students into class only finding out later it wasn’t his class after all. And then there were the times he was sent to the office for disrupting class, well they shouldn’t have said to ask questions if you didn’t understand stuff. He just hoped this meeting went ok.

  
Ron Swanson’s office

Ron gestured the chair in front of his desk, “take a seat Andrew,” he said.  
Andy sits and rocks back onto the back legs of his chair.  
“Sit still Andrew,” Ron commanded sharply, this wouldn’t take long and he could get back to do nothing in particular.  
Andy righted his chair, “sorry,”  
Ron glared at the young man and then continued, “This is your six month review Andrew and I can see that you mostly show up for work, even if not on time. Spend most of your time goofing off or generally making a nuisance of yourself. So everything seems in order, sign here, and you can go, “he said sliding a slip of paper towards the younger man.

Andy had meant to pay super attention to whatever his boss had to say but the sawn-off shotgun on the desk caught his eye and he couldn’t resist reaching out and touching it. And wow it was mounted on a swivel thingie and twirled around when he touched it. Cool!  
Ron reached out and stilled the shotgun mid movement, “what are you doing? This is not a toy.”  
Andy grinned, “anything is a toy if you play with it Ron,”  
“Don’t sass me, “  
“What happens when someone sasses you Ron?” Andy leaned in a little closer.  
“You don’t want to know,” Ron told him ominously.  
Subtlety was lost on Andy, “I really do wanna know?” Wow this was a way more interesting meeting than he’d expected.

Ron opened his desk and reached in and took out a wooden paddle, one that his father had made many years ago. He laid it on the table in front of Andy.  
Andy’s eyes went wide, “wow! Did you make that Ron?”  
“No my father did,”  
Andy reached over to touch it and asked, “What’s it for Ron?”  
“To paddle anyone who sasses me,”  
Andy yanked his hand back and folded his arms, looking at the paddle,  
“... How many times could someone sass you before they got that?” He asked pointing.  
“Once, “  
“... first time wouldn’t count though, if they didn’t know about the no sassing rule? Right?”  
“No second chances disrespect me and you will feel my Roth.”  
Andy slumped in his chair and ran his hands through his hair and down his face, “What a mess, does this mean I’m fired too,” he groaned.  
“No, you’re not fired, it’s just your behind that’s getting paddled,” Ron held out a notepad and waited for the young man to take it.  
“Sit at your desk and write out, I must not sass Ron Swanson, until I call for you. Now out! Andy bounced to his feet and gave the shot gun a final bat with his hand as he moved to leave.  
Ron starred at the young man in disbelief, “what did you do that for?”  
Andy grinned, “double jeopardy, saw that on TV once.  
“This is not TV and did you just sass me again son?”  
Andy bolted for the door and shouted,”I call a do-over!”  
Ron used his remote to close the office door, “what just happened here?” He said out loud.

In the main parks and recreation office come 5pm April was dawdling behind waiting to see if Andy was doing to ask her out. Not that she cared one way or another, but while she hated everything she didn’t quite hate Andy Dwyer. Even if the dumb ass was taking way too long to ask her out. Fine, she’d do the asking.  
“Wanna get a pizza and throw water balloons off the bridge after work?” she asked.  
Andy’s face lite up, wow she was asking him out, cool,  
“pizza and water balloons sounds awesome...but I can’t right now,”  
April glowered, “you don’t have a date with Ann Perkins?” She all but spat out.  
Andy shook his head, “its Ron,”  
“You have a date with Ron?”  
“Not exactly,”  
“In another second I’m going to hit you Andy Dwyer,” April said as she closed the distance between them.  
Andy bounced to his feel and jabbed a finger in April’s direction,  
“Yes! Ron, my boss is gonna hit me, that’s why I can’t come for pizza. Yet, he added hopefully.” Then he remembered there was nothing to be excited over and sat back down.  
As conversations with Andy went this was quite intriguing,  
“So Ron Swanson wants to hit you, because? What did you do? She asked grinning.  
Andy gave her a sad look, “I didn’t know about the no sassing rule.”  
“Oh I knew about that,”  
“... How come you didn’t warn me about it?”  
“You didn’t ask; anyway call me later if you still wanna go get pizza,”  
“Babe you really are the best girlfriend,” he said happily.  
“I’m not your girlfriend,”  
"Will you be my girlfriend April?"  
“Ok. Call me later when Ron’s finished paddling you,” April smiled and headed for the door.  
Aww that is so cool, well besides the part where Ron’s gonna paddle me, that’s not cool at all. Wonder if he’s gonna let me have a do over.

Andy stood in front of Ron’s office desk and starred at the paddle as his boss told him off. Something about keeping his hands to himself and wasn’t it time he grew up and took responsibility for his actions. And no he could not have a do over; apparently adults aren’t allowed do overs. Which Andy found very dumb, almost as dumb as the stupid paddle he couldn’t take his eyes off.

Ron knew he was wasting his time lecturing the large boy stood across from him; he may as well get on with it. He had a huge T bone steak with his name on it waiting at home. He stood up and beaconed the boy to him,  
“Come here son,” was the boy crying already?  
“I won’t fit over your knee, I’m too big,” Andy whined, trying not to sniffle.  
Ron pointed to a clearing at the front of his desk as he picked up the paddle,  
“I have a perfectly good mahogany desk top, go and bend over it son.”  
Andy moved as slowly as his feet would allow, then glanced at Ron to see if any last minute change of heart was likely. Nope he didn't think so, so took a deep breath and leaned over the desk and gripped the sides as well as he could manage.

Ron moved into place quickly and brought the paddle down firmly onto Andy's butt, and was ready with his free hand to stop the boy jerking out of place.  
"Oww!" Andy wailed as his sniffles turned to full on crying.  
Ron brought the paddle down a second time and Andy howled like a wounded animal.  
"Ron, Oww, stop...that hurts...bad!  
A third slap of the paddle landed and Andy did his best to get free of Ron's grip,  
"Ow ow ow, please Ron, stop and I swear I'll never ever sass you again," Andy sobbed.  
Ron landed a final two slaps of the paddle with more force, "and those were for trying double jeopardy on me young man."

Andy let go of the desk and cried into his folded arms, resting his head on the desk, he hated that paddle so bad. When Andy showed no immediate sign of getting up and leaving, Ron reluctantly patted him on the shoulder.

"We're done here son, you can go home now and we’ll say no more about it," then Ron waited for his usually boisterous colleague to responded in some way. Minutes ticked by and Ron was growing hungrier, and impatient. He grabbed Andy by a bunch of shirt and tried to pull him up, but he just flopped back onto the desk top.

"My butt hurts too much to get up, just leave me here," then the crying stated up again.

Ron hated to do it but he really was starving, "are you hungry son? I'm cooking steak and eggs?"

Andy lifted his tear stained face towards Ron, "will you teach me to cook a good steak? Mine always turn out raw and I end up barfing?"  
"Fine, now will you get up so we can go?"  
Andy got up and tentatively rubbed his behind, “Ron? What would happen if someone burned your paddle?"  
"I'd carve another, even bigger paddle and I'd hunt down the someone who burnt my father's paddle and they would be very sorry, that I can promise."  
"Oh right, good to know Ron," Andy replied innocently as he whipped his eyes dry on his sleeve.  
Ron picked up his coat and keys; "Is it all right with you if we go now?" he glared at Andy.  
"Sure, I’m really hungry now too, can we get candy out of the vending machine on the way out?"  
"I'm not your Dad, do whatever you want," Ron left the office with the younger man trailing after him muttering,  
"Well how come you just whooped me, and if you didn't leave toys out in your office I wouldn't play with 'em…"  
"Did you say something Andrew?"  
"Can I ride shotgun? And after we eat can you give me a lift to April's house? We’re getting pizza and tossing water balloons later."  
"Whatever, but if you're not at my car before me, I'm leaving without you," Ron grimaced, and had to quickly sidestep as Andy whooshed past him, owing as he went. That put a slight smile on the older man’s face; he wouldn't be the only once suffering on the drive home.


End file.
